I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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