can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
