Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize