is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
