You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
