omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
