just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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