I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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