It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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