You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
