Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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