Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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