Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
