I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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