..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
