so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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