A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize