Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
