then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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