So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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