Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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