Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
