nut hugger
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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