The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
