I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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