miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
