Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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