I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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