She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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