I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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