Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
