dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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