There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
