I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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