i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
