I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
