get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
false alarm. still invincible.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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