they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
