I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
