Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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