if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
