Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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