Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
