do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize