Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
