Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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