any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
