not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
