he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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