i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
