It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
