Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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