And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
